


Typical insanity

by Crisis_aversion



Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One), Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Fix-It of Sorts, Fluff and Humour, It's also a quarantine fic, Maybe - Freeform, Multi, Not Beta Read, Not Canon Compliant, Other, Other tags may be added, Slow Updates, So Wrong It's Right, Some Plot, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, Transformers MTMTE/LL spoilers, Will be updated when I think of stupid stuff for them to say, Yes I borrowed a tag from another IDW chatroom fic but, and slow burn, because what did you expect from me?, chat room, established relationships - Freeform, seriously it deserves to be a real tag, typical Lost Light insanity
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-20
Updated: 2020-12-11
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:28:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 4,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25770604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crisis_aversion/pseuds/Crisis_aversion
Summary: Rodimus makes a shipwide chatroom. It doesn't end well.
Relationships: Bluestreak/Smokescreen, Brainstorm/Perceptor, Chromedome/Rewind, Drift/Ratchet, First Aid/Ambulon, Fulcrum/Grimlock, Hound/Mirage, Megatron/Ultra Magnus, Nautica & Skids, Nautica/Velocity/Nightbeat, Rodimus Prime/Thunderclash, Rung/Fortress Maximus, Swerve/Misfire, Tailgate/Cyclonus/Whirl, Trailcutter/Ravage
Comments: 18
Kudos: 68





	1. Wherein Rodimus has a bad idea

**Author's Note:**

> There's virtually no plot, it's almost completely not canon compliant, most of the crew isn't actually here, those that are are mostly OoC... Yeah, basically a regular day in my fanfics eh?  
> (And yes, it's in an AU where certain characters who weren't online/on board at the same time are. I don't give a scrap about canon when writing this kinda fic.)
> 
> I was gonna wait until I at least finished MTMTE before posting any IDW fics (not to mention that I don't normally post until I'm finished writing the fic) but since this is such an AU (and there's no visible plot let alone ending) I decided to just roll with the insanity and do it anyway.
> 
> Featuring a slag ton of headcanons I've made up over the months I've been hanging out in the IDW fan base, virtually no real canon, and a ton of Cybertronian slang, welcome to my first ever chatroom style fic. It's gonna be a wild ride folks.

_ Rodimus has created the server. _

_ Rodimus has changed their user to **RoddyP** _

_ RoddyP has added Drift to the server _

_Drift:_ U didn't think this through, did u

 _RoddyP:_ Nope

_RoddyP has changed Drift's user to **SwordBoi**_

_SwordBoi:_ Can I add Ratty?

_RoddyP:_ Course

_ SwordBoi has added Ratchet to the server _

_Ratchet:_ What is this?

_RoddyP_ : I made a server!

_SwordBoi:_ I think that much is obvious, Roddy

_SwordBoi:_ He made a server where the crew can chat online

_Ratchet:_ ...

_Ratchet_ : Why?

_RoddyP:_ Cause I can XD

_SwordBoi has changed Ratchet's user to **AngryWrench**_

_AngryWrench:_ Very funny, Drift. Change it back

_SwordBoi:_ No

_AngryWrench:_ DRIFT

_SwordBoi:_ NO

_RoddyP:_ lol

_AngryWrench:_ If you don't change it I swear I'll do something I'll regret

_SwordBoi:_ Do ur worst, Ratty

_AngryWrench has left the server_

_SwordBoi:_ AAAAAAAAAAAGRVFBHDBFNHFBF

_RoddyP:_ What?

_RoddyP:_ What happened?

_RoddyP:_ Drift?

_RoddyP:_ DRIFT?????????

_RoddyP has added UltraMagnus to the server_

_ RoddyP has added Megatron to the server _

_UltraMagnus:_ What are you doing, Rodimus?

_RoddyP:_ I THINK SOMETHING BAD HAPPENED TO DRIFT

_Megatron:_ I read the previous messages; I'll go look for him.

_RoddyP:_ thx

_Megatron has left the server_

_RoddyP:_ I hope I didn't cause him too much trouble

_UltraMagnus:_ I'm certain Ratchet would not do anything too bad to him.

_UltraMagnus has left the server_

_RoddyP has added Ultra Magnus to the server_

_RoddyP:_ U can't leave unless I ban U myself

_UltraMagnus:_ Megatron just did.

_RoddyP:_ I let him 'cause he's looking 4 Drift

_ UltraMagnus has added Megatron to the server _

_UltraMagnus:_ I'm not dealing with this by myself.

_RoddyP:_ If u go down he goes down with u?

_RoddyP:_ That's what's going on here isn't it

_Megatron:_...

_RoddyP:_ U find Drift yet?

_Megatron:_ No.

_RoddyP:_ Scrappit

_UltrapMagnus:_ Language, Rodimus.

_RoddyP has changed UltraMagnus' user to **StickintheMud**_

_StickintheMud:_ That's not funny, Rodimus.

_RoddyP:_ It kinda is

_StickintheMud:_ How do I change it back?

_Megatron has changed StickintheMud's user to **UltraMagnusDulyAppointedEnforceroftheTyrestAccord**_

_UltraMagnusDulyAppointedEnforceroftheTyrestAccord:_ Thank you.

_RoddyP:_ Wait a min U authorized each other?!

_Magnus:_ Is that a bad thing?

_RoddyP:_...

_RoddyP:_ idk

_UltraMagnusDulyAppointedEnforceroftheTyrestAccord:_ What?

_RoddyP:_ It means 'I don't know'. Don't u understand text speak?

_UltraMagnusDulyAppointedEnforceroftheTyrestAccord:_ No.

_RoddyP:_ Scrappit

_UltraMagnusDulyAppointedEnforceroftheTyrestAccord:_ Language!

_RoddyP:_ Whatevs 

_RoddyP:_ **@Megatron** u find him yet?

_Megatron:_ No.

_Megatron:_ Wait.

_Megatron:_ I found him.

_SwordBoi:_ I'm fine, Roddy

_Swordboi:_ sry 4 worrying u 

_RoddyP:_ I'm glad ur ok 

_RoddyP:_ Where were u?

_Swordboi:_ Hiding in a closet

_SwordBoi:_ I c u added Megs n Mags

_SwordBoi:_ Welcome to Pit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to Pit indeed hehe
> 
> And yes, Magnus' username is gonna get changed at some point. It's way too long for Roddy to consider it viable and I'm gonna kill myself with it if I have to keep typing/pasting it in...


	2. Wherein no one has a real username

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roddy made rules!  
>  Kinda

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMP= Oh my Primus  
> Wts= What the scrap
> 
> Also slight format change, breaks between text indicates time elapsed with no messages.

**Chat room rules**

  1. You cannot use your real name as your username
  2. Everyone gets to invite one (1) person to the server
  3. Admins can invite more
  4. No death threats allowed
  5. Otherwise go wild



* * *

_RoddyP:_ @everyone I made rules

_UltraMagnusDulyAppointedEnforceroftheTyrestAccord:_ You're inviting anarchy with those rules.

 _Megatron:_ I never thought I'd see those words in the same sentence.

 _RoddyP:_ But it means u both have to change your users

_SwordBoi:_ Did u break them Roddy

 _RoddyP:_ Idk but that would be hilarious

_Megatron has changed their user to **NotMyName**_

_RoddyP:_ OMP

 _SworBoi:_ Megs just made a joke that was actually funny

_SwordBoi has added Ratchet to the server_

_SwordBoi:_ Backread the chat! Quick!

 _Ratchet:_ I'm still mad at you

 _SwordBoi:_ Just do it

_Ratchet:_ Holy scrap

 _RoddyP:_ Ikr

_RoddyP has added Thunderclash to the chat _

_ RoddyP has changed Thunderclash's user to **BestRival** _

_BestRival:_ Hi Roddy

 _RoddyP:_ Hi Clash!

 _RoddyP:_ Backread the chat

_BestRival:_ Wts

_NotMyName:_ Why is everyone shocked?

 _NotMyName:_ I followed your 'rules', Rodimus.

 _RoddyP:_ This is true

_UltraMagnusDulyAppointedEnforceroftheTyrestAccord:_ I'm not changing my username _._

 _RoddyP:_ U have to it's in the rules

 _UltraMagnusDulyAppointedEnforceroftheTyrestAccord:_ I don't even know how to change my username.

 _RoddyP:_ Get Megan to do it

 _NotMyName:_ Don't call me that again.

 _RoddyP:_ Yet everyone still knew I was talking about u

 _RoddyP:_ If u and Mags don't change his user I will

_NotMyName has changed UltraMagnusDulyAppointedEnforceroftheTyrestAccord's user to **Turbofox**_

_RoddyP:_ Wut

 _Turbofox:_ This is the agreed upon username.

 _RoddyP:_ Y turbofox?

 _RoddyP:_ Wait u mean u and Megsy corresponded to choose it?

 _NotMyName:_ Don't call me that either.

 _Turbofox:_ Is that a bad thing?

 _SwordBoi:_ I find it amusing u keep having 2 ask that

_RoddyP:_ But y turbofox?

_RoddyP:_ Some1 answer me

 _Turbofox:_ I will never tell.

_RoddyP:_ Wait does that mean Megs knows one of ur secrets

_RoddyP:_ What the frag Magnus


	3. Wherein everyone is afraid of Ratchet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Starting to move away from (mostly) just officers now

_RoddyP has changed Ratchet's user to **AngryWrench**_

_AngryWrench:_ Not this again

 _RoddyP:_ =')

 _AngryWrench:_ I'm gonna fragging kill you Rodimus

 _RoddyP:_ 😲

_ AngryWrench has left the server _

_RoddyP:_ Oh slag

 _RoddyP:_ **@NotMyName** protec me

 _NotMyName:_ You brought this on yourself. 

_RoddyP:_ **@Turbofox** save meeeeeeeee

 _Turbofox:_ You saw what happened to Drift and yet you made the same mistake. This is your just punishment.

 _RoddyP:_ They're ganging up on me

 _RoddyP:_ Fraggit

 _Turbofox:_ Language _,_ Rodimus _._

 _RoddyP:_ I'm fragging about 2 die and u tell me 2 watch my language 😕

 _SwordBoi:_ He won't actually kill u

 _SwordBoi:_ Ur 2 dear 2 my spark

 _BestRival:_ You chose Megatron over me, I'm hurt

 _RoddyP:_ I'm sorry dearest

 _RoddyP:_ Protec me from the wrench

 _BestRival:_ Always

 _SwordBoi:_ How sweet *gags*

 _RoddyP:_ Hypocrite

_Turbofox:_ I just realized Ratchet is breaking rule number four.

 _NotMyName:_ I don't think he cares.

 _Turbofox:_ Nor do I.

 _Turbofox:_ I should throw him in the brig for this; assault on an officer is a serious offense.

 _SwordBoi:_ Plz don't 

_SwordBoi:_ He won't actually hurt him

 _Turbofox:_ I know, but this is still a punishable offense.

 _SwordBoi:_ Let it go this once, plz

 _Turbofox:_ Alright, but only this one time.

 _SwordBoi:_ Thx

 _SwordBoi:_ I notice u weren't gonna lock him up when he was threatening me, I'm an officer too aren't I?

 _Turbofox:_ As you are his conjunx I assumed it was merely a joke.

 _SwordBoi:_ RODDY LITERALLY SENT MEGATRON TO FIND ME

 _SwordBoi:_ But I suppose it technically was

_NotMyName:_ Is Rodimus alright?

 _SwordBoi:_ Idk but I haven't heard him screaming yet so I'm pretty sure yes

 _Turbofox:_ The bridge is disturbingly peaceful.

 _SwordBoi:_ Calm b4 the storm?

 _Turbofox:_ That's what im afraid it is.

_RoddyP:_ I'm fine guys

 _RoddyP:_ Clash is my hero

 _BestRival:_ Ur welcome darling

_ SwordBoi has added Ratchet to the server _

_NotMyName:_ I can't believe they're doing it again.

 _NotMyName:_ No, actually I can.

 _RoddyP:_ XD

_Ratchet:_ Call me that again, I dare you

_Ratchet:_ Didn't think so

_ Ratchet has changed their user to **Hatchet** _

_RoddyP:_ Different enough

 _Turbofox:_ Whirl just walked onto the bridge screaming obscenities.

 _RoddyP:_ This I gotta see

 _RoddyP:_ Any1 else coming with?

 _NotMyName:_ I'm already here. 

_NotMyName:_ I don't even know what that word means, nor do I want to.

_RoddyP:_ Woah he's even crazier than usual

 _SwordBoi:_ Give me a play by play!

 _SwordBoi:_ Ratty locked me in the medbay supply closet

 _Hatchet:_ I did not

 _Hatchet:_ It was Ambulon

_RoddyP:_ Wait, Tailgate showed up

 _RoddyP:_ It's over

 _SwordBoi:_ Already?

 _RoddyP:_ Minibot is a miracle worker, I tell u

SwordBoi:Wish I coulda seen it

 _NotMyName:_ You're lucky you didn't.

 _Turbofox:_ I'll never be able to unhear that.


	4. Wherein everyone gets a plus one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the title suggests.

_NotMyName has added Ravage to the server_

_Ravage has changed their user to **ThatCat**_

_ThatCat:_ jnijce sserdgver 

_RoddyP:_ Megs' plus one can't type, ironic

 _RoddyP:_ Wait he has no thumbs nvm

 _SwordBoi:_ I think he said "nice server"?

 _ThatCat:_ yeds 

_ThatCat:_ yoouh''re assdikngb fokr injsdqanityz, aRdodikmus

 _RoddyP:_ Can some1 translate?

 _NotMyName:_ "You're asking for insanity, Rodimus."

 _RoddyP:_ Of course Megs can understand him

 _ThatCat:_ Hel!ieeve iit ord nit Lasserbbesqak waazss wa wsorsee typesr thbwan mme

 _NotMyName: "_ Believe it or not Laserbeak was a worse typer than me."

 _RoddyP:_ Actually I can believe that

_ ThatCat has added Trailcutter to the server _

_ Trailcutter has changed their user to **OneTrickPony** _

_OneTrickPony:_ Hi guys

 _SwordBoi:_ Welcome to Pit

 _RoddyP:_ Are we really calling it that?

_RoddyP:_ Actually yes we r

 _SwordBoi:_ We totally r

 _ThatCat:_ Ssplagb rrijgvhht wae r

_RoddyP:_ Megs?

 _NotMyName:_ I'm not repeating that.

 _RoddyP:_ LOL

 _RoddyP:_ I'm pretty sure I know what he said now

 _Turbofox:_ Language, Ravage.

 _ThatCat:_ Youh ardes qall! jukmpling tfok fconcluhsioons 

_ThatCat:_ Tfuhey arde acfcuhrwates ttfuhouhgvh 

_NotMyName:_ "You are all jumping to conclusions. They are accurate though."

 _RoddyP:_ lol Ravi swore

 _Turbofox:_ Is that all you can think of?

 _RoddyP:_ Pretty much yes

 _ThatCat:_ Kmecch hgaass hhiis prdiorites sztfraight 

_RoddyP:_ Ty 

_NotMyName:_ You really don't.

 _RoddyP:_ Not ur problem

 _Turbofox:_ It technically is, given that as your co-captain your actions reflect on him as well.

 _RoddyP:_ Whose side r u on?

 _RoddyP:_ And that really isn't making me wanna act any better XD

 _Turbofox:_ I am on the side of this ship, as a whole. If that means I have to side with Megatron then so be it.

 _RoddyP:_ That is actually kinda creepy but also cute

 _SwordBoi:_ U managed to understand Ravage?

 _SwordBoi:_ And ur also reading way too much into the Mags/Megs thing

 _RoddyP:_ But am I really?

_SwordBoi:_ Maybe maybe not

_Hatchet has added Ambulon to the server_

_Hatchet has changed Ambulon's user to_ **TheGoodNamesWereTaken**

_TheGoodNamesWereTaken:_ What's the emergency?

 _Hatchet:_ Everything about this chat

 _TheGoodNamesWereTaken:_ Then why am I needed?

 _Hatchet:_ You aren't I just needed a plus one so Rodimus would leave me alone

 _RoddyP:_ I'm hurt 😑

 _TheGoodNamesWereTaken:_ As am I

 _SwordBoi:_ We'll need u eventually

 _SwordBoi:_ Besides u can't leave unless Roddy kicks u

 _TheGoodNamesWereTaken:_ At least I won't die alone

_TheGoodNamesWereTaken has added FirstAid to the server_

_TheGoodNamesWereTaken has changed FirstAid's user to **MedicalAid**_

_MedicalAid:_ I'm busy

 _TheGoodNamesWereTaken:_ This chat is killing us

 _MedicalAid:_ You're not dying go away

 _RoddyP:_ Lol this looks promising

 _ThatCat:_ I'lll hbringg tfhbes esnwackes 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And for those of you who can't read Ravage's typing his last two messages are:  
> "Mech has his priorities straight" and "I'll bring the snacks."


	5. Wherein it's an invite free for all

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Slow chapter mostly comprised of invites

_MedicalAid has added Velocity to the server_

_Velocity has changed their user to **SpeedGal**_

_SpeedGal:_ Hi guys!

_SpeedGal has added Nautica to the server_

_Nautica has changed their user to **NaughtyScience**_

_NaughtyScience:_ Hey Lotty, everyone

 _SwordBoi:_ Welcome to Pit

 _NaughtyScience:_ Lol

_NaughtyScience has added Skids to the server_

_Skids has changed their user to **VentDweller**_

_VentDweller: Yo_

_RoddyP: Yo!_

_VentDweller has added Nightbeat to the server_

_ NaughtyScience has changed Nightbeat's user to **Sherlock** _

_Sherlock: Hi_

_Sherlock has added Perceptor to the server_

_Sherlock has changed Perceptor's user to **SnipingForScience**_

_SnipingForScience:_ I do not believe this is a good idea.

 _Sherlock:_ No but it should prove entertaining

_SnipingForScience has added Brainstorm to the server_

_ Brainstorm has changed their user to **MechWithaBriefcase** _

_MechWithaBriefcase:_ Woah I just backread the chat, this place is insane

 _RoddyP:_ Isn't the entire ship?

 _MechWithaBriefcase:_ Fair point

 _SnipingForScience:_ Just don't make me regret inviting you, Brainstorm.

 _MechWithaBriefcase:_ You regret nothing to do with me -3-

 _SnipingForScience:_ I regret everything to do with you.

 _Sherlock:_ Lol wish I had energon popcorn rn

 _NaughtyScience:_ Yeah they're arguing now

_VentDweller:_ I'm guessing Perceptor is regretting adding him now

 _NaughtyScience:_ I can't hear or see them anymore

 _NotMyName:_ Should we be worried?

 _Sherlock:_ Nah they went into the back room

 _Sherlock:_ Doubt they could cause any serious problems for us from in there ;)

 _NaughtyScience:_ ;)

 _RoddyP:_ U should see the look on Megatron's face rn

 _RoddyP:_ It's priceless XD

_SnipingForScience has kicked MechWithaBriefcase from the server_

_RoddyP has added Brainstorm to the server_

_RoddyP:_ No one can leave unless I kick them

_SnipingForScience has kicked Brainstorm from the server_

_RoddyP: -_-_

* * *

**5 minutes later**

_MechWithaBriefcase:_ I have returned! And returned, and returned, and returned, and

 _MechWithaBriefcase:_ Yeah you get the point

 _NaughtyScience:_ Welcome back

 _Sherlock:_ Though we've had some quality entertainment at your expense

 _MechWithaBriefcase:_ Good to hear ._.

 _Sherlock:_ ;D

_MechWithaBriefcase has added Chromedome to the server_

_Chromedome has changed their user to **ReTired**_

_ ReTired has added Rewind to the server _

_ Rewind has changed their user to **Click2Download** _

_Click2Download:_ Hi everyone!

 _RoddyP:_ Hey to everyone new to the server ;)

 _ReTired:_ You do realize you're breaking your own #1 rule, right?

 _RoddyP:_ Wait wut

_RoddyP:_ Scrappit ur right

_RoddyP has changed their user to **3rdDegreeBurn**_


	6. Wherein the Scavengers are invited

_3rdDegreeBurn:_ **@Turbofox** you still need to add a +1!

 _Turbofox:_ The only bots I would care to invite are already here.

 _3rdDegreeBurn: ..._ I'm kinda suspicious now but

 _3rdDegreeBurn:_ U still need to add some1

_Turbofox_ : Fine

_Turbofox has added Cyclonus to the server_

_Cyclonus has added Tailgate to the server_

_3rdDegreeBurn has changed Tailgate's user to **MarshallMallow**_

_3rdDegreeBurn has changed Cyclonus' user to **NotaDecepticon**_

_NotaDecepticon:_ I will not stand for this username.

 _3rdDegreeBurn:_ Lol

 _NotaDecepticon:_ Tailgate, please change it.

_MarshallMallow has changed NotaDecepticon's user to **Tsundere**_

_Tsundere:_ I trusted you!

 _MarshallMallow:_ Heehee

 _3rdDegreeBurn:_ Rofl

_MarshallMallow has added Whirl to the server_

_ Whirl has changed their user to **RotorKiller** _

_RotorKiller:_ This place is as crazy as me

 _Tsundere:_ At least you admit it.

 _RotorKiller:_ XD good job, lil buddy

 _MarshallMallow:_ Thx

_RotorKiller has added Spinister to the server_

_Spinister has changed their user to **SpinningDeath**_

_SpinningDeath:_ The frag is this?

 _3rdDegreeBurn:_ Chatroom. Add a friend if u like

 _SpinningDeath:_ Huh. Place to cause chaos >:)

_SpinningDeath has added Crankcase to the server_

_ Crankcase has changed their user to **GrumpyBox** _

_ GrumpyBox has added Krok to the server _

_SpinningDeath has changed Krok's user to **CrocodileDad**_

_CrocodileDad:_ I doubt this is a good idea

 _SpinningDeath:_ I think it's a great idea

 _RotorKiller:_ Me too!

 _CrocodileDad:_ Case in point

 _SpinningDeath:_ o/\o

 _RotorKiller:_ o/\o

_CrocodileDad has added Fulcrum to the server_

_SpinningDeath has changed Fulcrum's user to **DaBomb**_

_DaBomb:_ This is a horrible idea.

 _SwordBoi:_ Horrible but amusing

_ DaBomb has added Grimlock to the server _

_ SpinningDeath has changed Grimlock's user to  _ _** DinoKing ** _

_DinoKing:_???

 _DaBomb:_ I'm not staying here without him.

 _DinoKing:_ ^^

 _3rdDegreeBurn:_ Fair enough

 _3rdDegreeBurn:_ Every1 gets a +1 anyway

_DinoKing has added Misfire to the server_

_SpinningDeath has changed Misfire's user to **MissingTargets**_

_MissingTargets:_ Ooooh chatroom 

_MissingTargets:_ I love these things

 _SpinningDeath:_ Good place to cause chaos

 _MissingTargets:_ Yeeee 

_DaBomb:_ You should've seen the one we had back on the WAP.

 _DinoKing:_ Place was insane

 _MissingTargets:_ Place was awesome

 _Hatchet:_ We're fragged

_MissingTargets has added Swerve to the server_

Swerve has changed their user to _**ShutThePitUp**_

_SwordBoi_ : Ironic, given that this is Pit 

_ShutThePitUp:_ Lol


	7. Wherein no one knows what's going on

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Including the author...  
> Hey, I said there's no plot didn't I?

_OneTrickPony has added Smokescreen to the server_

_Smokescreen has changed their user to **PokerFaceplate**_

_PokerFaceplate_ _:_ Whazzup?

 _3rdDegreeBurn:_ Insanity XD

 _PokerFaceplate:_ What else is new?

 _SwordBoi:_ Megatron's sense of humour

 _PokerFaceplate:_ Wait what?

 _SwordBoi:_ Just backread the chat lol

_PokerFaceplate:_ Well, I guess some things do change

 _Hatchet:_ Group chatrooms bring out sides of bots you would never think existed

 _SwordBoi:_ U got that right

_PokerFaceplate has added Bluesctreak to the server_

_PokerFaceplate has changed Bluestreak's user to **BabyBlu**_

_BabyBlu:_ Woah, this server is amazing! But also insane, are we sure it's a good idea? And thanks for adding me, Smokes!

 _3rdDegreeBurn:_ Wow, he even texts like that

 _PokerFaceplate:_ ;)

_ BabyBlu has added Hound to the server _

_ Hound has changed their user to **NatureLover** _

_NatureLover:_ Hey guys!

 _SwordBoi:_ Welcome to Pit

 _NatureLover:_ Is it really that bad?

 _3rdDegreeBurn:_ Yeah kinda

_NatureLover has added Mirage to the server_

_ NatureLover has changed Mirage's user to **NowUCme** _

_NowUCme:_ This username is undignified, Hound.

 _NatureLover:_ But it's accurate

_NowUCme:_ Fair point.

_BestRival has added Rung to the server_

_Rung has changed their user to **Hidden**_

_Turbofox:_ Hello, Rung.

 _Hidden:_ Hello.

 _3rdDegreeBurn:_ But I'm pretty sure he didn't backread the chat so he has no idea who we are

 _Hidden:_ I respect others' privacy; I don't look where I'm not asked to.

 _3rdDegreeBurn:_ Read the chat. This place will make much more sense

 _SwordBoi:_ No it won't

 _3rdDegreeBurn:_ At least he'll know who we are

 _SwordBoi:_ True

_Hidden has added FortressMaximus to the server_

_ Hidden has changed FortressMaximus' user to **PillowFort** _

_PillowFort:_ Hello

 _3rdDegreeBurn:_ Hi

 _PillowFort:_ There are so many people here, how do you keep the usernames straight?

 _3rdDegreeBurn:_...

 _3rdDegreeBurn:_ Idk 

_SwordBoi:_ I'm pretty sure he doesn't

 _PokerFaceplate:_ Lol

 _MarshallMallow:_ I memorized them already

 _RotorKiller:_ Holy scrap Tailgate

 _Tsundere:_ I wrote them down.

 _SwordBoi:_ What if they change them? U gonna go back, find them on the list, and change ur entry?

 _Tsundere:_ Yes.

 _RotorKiller:_ Holy scrap Cyclonus

 _Tsundere:_ Please stop saying that.

 _RotorKiller:_ Now I'm never gonna stop XD

 _Tsundere:_ WHIRL

 _RotorKiller:_ Heeheehee 

_MarshallMallow:_ Gtg break up a fight

 _3rdDegreeBurn:_ Ngl I think that was prolly his intention

 _Turbofox:_ Despite your horrible maiming of the language, I must agree with you.

 _3rdDegreeBurn:_ This is a language all its own, Mags

 _Turbofox:_ If this is true, it is not a language I care to learn.

 _3rdDegreeBurn:_ Have fun having Megs translate 4 u the rest of ur life then

 _Turbofox:_ I resent that statement.

 _NotMyName:_ As do I.


	8. Wherein there's a quarantine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cause what the frag did you expect from me, not having a plot, relishing in the fact that I have an excuse to be introverted, and wanting to shove it into the faceplates of a crew of (mostly) extroverted robots?  
> AKA the mini arc based on reality except not really  
> (Idk how long this will last but then again that's a reality check ain't it)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stp= swear to Primus

**2 months later**

_NotMyName:_ I have read every book in my quarters.

 _Turbofox:_ As have I.

 _NaughtyScience:_ Me too

 _NotMyName:_ Twice.

 _Turbofox:_ Thrice.

 _NaughtyScience:_ Four times and I stole some of Perceptor's

 _SnipingForScience:_ I was wondering where those went.

 _MechWithaBriefcase:_ No he wasn't, he was too busy paying attention to me for once ;)

 _SnipingForScience:_ I resent the implications of that statement.

 _MechWithaBriefcase:_ You resent everything to do with me :(

 _SnipingForScience:_ I do not.

 _MechWithaBriefcase:_ Do too!

 _SnipingForScience:_ I do not!

 _Sherlock:_ Guys seriously you're roommates you don't have to argue in this chat room

 _MechWithaBriefcase:_ Do too!

 _Sherlock: ..._ I'm not sure if I should think that was directed at me or not

 _SnipingForScience:_ I do NOT!

 _NaughtyScience:_ **@MechWithaBriefcase** and **@SnipingForScience** please stop arguing online when you're in the same room or I stp

 _Hidden:_ Please don't involve me.

 _NaughtyScience:_ Sorry

_Sherlock:_ Thank goodness, they left

 _NaughtyScience:_ But now we have nothing to talk about

 _ShutThePitUp:_ Sure we do: GOSSIP

 _MissingTargets:_ PIT YES!

 _NotMyName:_ Please don't.

 _3rdDegreeBurn::_ plz DO

 _3rdDegreeBurn:_ I am bored outta my processor rn

 _BestRival:_ Yeah he tried to headbutt the door open this morning

 _NotMyName:_ Was that what that noise was?

 _3rdDegreeBurn:_ GET ME OUTTA THIS FRAGGING ROOM!

 _Turbofox:_ Language, Rodimus!

 _3rdDegreeBurn:_ I'm pretty sure ur rooming w/ Buckethead rn so u don't rly get 2 comment on that

 _Turbofox:_ Where did you get such a ridiculous notion?

 _3rdDegreeBurn:_ I have optics

_SwordBoi:_ I'm surprised Megatron hasn't commented on the nickname yet

 _NotMyName:_ It is better than some of the things he has called me, so it's better to allow it rather than have him find a worse name.

 _ThatCat:_ Besxijedes, ijtf'sz azccdcurrraTe

_NotMyName:_ I do have to admit he is correct.

 _Hatchet:_ HOW LONG HAVE WE BEEN STUCK LIKE THIS MEGATRON IS SELF DEPRECATING

 _3rdDegreeBurn:_ WhO R U AND WHAT DID U DO TO MEGATRON?

 _NotMyName:_ I am Megatron. 

_VentDweller:_ We have been trapped in our quarters way too long

 _SwordBoi:_ U know that's true when Ratty is using all caps when he's not even mad

 _Click2Download:_ Lets just face it, we're all going slowly insane from the lack of socializing

 _ReTired:_ Including the ones who aren't social bots

 _3rdDegreeBurn:_ Like Megatron

 _SwordBoi:_ And u because that's the first time u used his real name in the history of this server

 _3rdDegreeBurn:_ But I AM A SOCIAL BOT

 _3rdDegreeBurn:_ When this slagged quarantine is over I'm gonna hug the first got I meet

 _SwordBoi:_ Even if it's someone u hate?

 _3rdDegreeBurn:_ Even if it's Unicron himself

 _NotMyName:_ Rodimus, no.

 _3rdDegreeBurn:_ Rodimus, yes

 _SwordBoi:_ Rodimus, NO

 _Turbofox:_ Some days I swear you have a death wish, Rodimus.

 _3rdDegreeBurn:_ There was a point in my life you'd b right, but not now

 _3rdDegreeBurn:_ Now I'm just an average daredevil

 _NotMyName:_ Just don't hug the first bot you see if they're going to kill you.

 _3rdDegreeBurn:_ You'll prolly b the first I meet so that shouldn't b a problem

 _NotMyName:_ Some days I really hate being your neighbor.

 _3rdDegreeBurn:_ Some days I REALLY love being yours XD

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ravage's text: "Besides, it's accurate"
> 
> Ngl the lockdown has not actually effected my life much, I'm quite happy for an excuse to not talk to Anyone XD


	9. Wherein there's still a quarantine

_3rdDegreeBurn:_ **@ThatCat** are Megs n Mags roomies rn? Plz confirm

 _ThatCat:_ Ii fcaan jnijetfher fcoknffirmm jnor ddesny

 _3rdDegreeBurn:_ So basically you're saying yes without saying yes

 _ThatCat:_ Ij plesqadx tfyhe tfijrftgyh

 _3rdDegreeBurn:_ R we American now? 

_3rdDegreeBurn:_ But u basically just confirmed 4 me

 _ThatCat:_ Tfwakmked ijtt uhow ygou waillk

 _Turbofox:_ We are not "roomies", Rodimus.

 _3rdDegreeBurn:_ U don't even know what roomies r

 _SwordBoi:_ For spark's sake Roddy, drop it

 _SwordBoi:_ They'll tell us if they're together when they're ready

 _3rdDegreeBurn:_ I CAn't waIT THAt loNg

 _Hatchet:_ I stp Rodimus

 _3rdDegreeBurn:_ Oh frag

 _3rdDegreeBurn:_ Wait, u can't do anything 2 me we're both confined 2 quarters

 _Hatchet:_ Do you really think that matters?

_3rdDegreeBurn:_ Frag

 _Turbofox:_ Please stop swearing, Rodimus.

 _3rdDegreeBurn:_ Never!

 _Turbofox:_ Rodimus, please.

 _3rdDegreeBurn:_ NOoooOOooO

 _SwordBoi:_ Plz stop antagonizing the bots that r bigger than u, Roddy

 _3rdDegreeBurn:_ Y should I?

 _SwordBoi:_ U want the list?

 _3rdDegreeBurn:_ Actually I wanna know what Megatron has 2 say about this

 _NotMyName:_ I agree with Magnus.

 _3rdDegreeBurn:_ Scrappit

 _Turbofox:_ There are impressionable bots here, Rodimus.

_MarshallMallow:_ If ur talking abt me I'm already impressioned

 _Tsundere:_ It's true, unfortunately.

 _RotorKiller:_ If half hour tirades of profanity for trying to break down the door counts as 'impressioned' anyway

 _3rdDegreeBurn:_ I'm having trouble picturing that

 _RotorKiller:_ ** Tirade.vid **

_3rdDegreeBurn:_ Holy scrap

 _Hatchet:_ Impressive

_SwordBoi:_ I think u prolly just killed u know who lol

 _RotorKiller:_ Bonus points then

 _3rdDegreeBurn:_ XD

_3rdDegreeBurn:_ Ik how to get Megs' attention

_Turbofox:_ Please stop banging on the wall.

 _3rdDegreeBurn:_ I have been confirmed hehehe

 _NotMyName:_ Oh.

 _SwordBoi:_ Cover-up fail lol

_SwordBoi:_ They broke themselves XDDD

 _3rdDegreeBurn:_ He's rooming with him, he's ROOMING WITH HIM, I TOLD YOU!

 _Hatchet:_ Holy scrap I look away for 5 minutes

 _Hatchet:_ What the frag did you do Rodimus?

 _3rdDegreeBurn:_ I banged on the slagging wall, I stp that's all I did

 _Hatchet:_ Why is it always the innocuous things that cause the most problems on this ship?

 _3rdDegreeBurn:_ Not my problem they accidentally outed themselves

 _SwordBoi:_ But u still caused it

 _Hatchet:_ I stp

 _Hidden:_ If everyone would PLEASE keep me out of these things I'd greatly appreciate it

 _Hatchet:_ Sorry

_3rdDegreeBurn:_ I TOLD U THEY WERE A THING

 _SwordBoi:_ Shuddup already

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ravage's text:  
> "I can neither confirm nor deny"  
> "I plead the fifth"  
> "Take it how you will"


	10. Wherein Ravage hacks the server

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hufrunvthh I didn't mean to take this long to post a new chapter *dies*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also if anyone has any suggestions they'd like to see feel free to send them in this fic is totally open for requests (note I may not do them immediately, but I'll try to include anything sent in eventually)

**_Megatron has reset all users_ **

_Rodimus:_ Wait who gave him admin

 _Rodimus:_ I can't change my user wts

 _Rodimus:_ GIVE ME BACK ADMIN

 _Rodimus:_ **@Ravage** I stp

 _Ratchet:_ Thank goodness that idiocy is over

 _Rodimus:_ Ur siding with him?

 _Ratchet:_ Only because I get to use my real name now

_Rodimus:_ Fragging

 _UltraMagnus_ : Rodimus, please stop.

 _Rodimus:_ Tell Megs to give me back admin and maybe I'll consider!

 _Drift:_ He won't. Trust me, he won't

 _UltraMagnus:_ I know he won't.

 _Rodimus:_ Is everyone here against me?

 _Rewind:_ I'll hack the server back 4 u!

 _Chromedome:_ OMP Rewind no

 _Rewind:_ Rewind yes!

 _Chromedome:_ Rewind NO

 _Rodimus:_ Rewind yes!

_Ratchet:_ I can't believe that conversation just happened

 _Drift:_ U rly don't know Roddy do u

 _Nautica_ : Are we really hacking the server? 

_Skids:_ Yesssss 

_Rodimus:_ Hack the server! Hack the server!

 _Drift:_ Omp 

_Ratchet:_ I will fragging kill you, Rodimus

 _Swerve:_ Thank Primus I have snacks

 _Misfire:_ I love this server so much lol

 _Misfire:_ This is so much better than the socializing we're missing

 _Misfire:_ Not to mention its a good distraction from helping Fulcrum barricade the door so Grimmy don't get out again

 _UltraMagnus:_ It's "it's" not "its"

 _Misfire:_ Whatevs

 _UltraMagnus:_ Grammar is very important, Misfire.

 _Misfire:_ Tell somebot who cares >:)

 _Rodimus:_ Rofl

 _Rodimus:_ But srsly Mags is acting like he has admin lol

 _Rodimus:_ Wait he doesn't does he

_Rodimus:_ Fragging

 _Rodimus:_ **@Megatron** if you won't let me change my user the least u could do is be the only one with my admin role

 _Ravage:_ Noktf ygouhres anygkmordes

 _Rodimus:_ Bloody cat give me back my server!

 _Drift:_ I really wish this wasn't as funny as it is lol

 _Rodimus:_ **@Drift** shuddup ur not helping

 _Drift:_ Rofl

_Rodimus:_ Wndhydgebdhdyyebdn

 _Rodimus:_ **@Rewind** Any luck?

 _Rewind:_ Almost got it

 _Rodimus:_ Pit yes!

 _Ratchet:_ Pit no

 _Rodimus:_ Fragging

 _UltraMagnus:_ Please stop saying that, Rodimus.

 _Rodimus:_ Never

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Megatron Getaway'ed the server XD


	11. Wherein two hackers are hacking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Supposed to be a Christmas chapter but I didn't finish it quite in time XD

_Rodimus:_ **@Rewind** plz tell me u got it

 _Rewind:_ Not quite

 _Rewind:_ Ravage is good at this

 _Ravage:_ ofd cdoljrse

 _Swerve:_ Ey guys I just remembered something important

 _Swerve:_ it's Christmas!

 _Misfire:_ oh hey merry Christmas!

 _Fulcrum:_ what's Christmas?

 _Swerve:_ YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT CHRISTMAS IS?!?

 _Fulcrum:_ is that a bad thing?

 _Swerve:_ YES

 _Misfire:_ pathetic

 _Fulcrum:_ if it's so bad I don't know what it is why not explain it?

 _Misfire:_ oh yeah right

 _Swerve:_ why didn't we think of that?

 _Rewind:_ it's an Earth holiday! You give gifts and sing songs and decorate and stuff!

 _Rodimus:_ yeah Christmas is great and all but can we plz focus on getting the server back?

 _Rewind:_ course, sorry

 _Rewind:_ wait

 _Rewind:_ ur back in charge but I didn't finish hacking what's up?

 _Ravage:_ mkesrddry Cuhrijsztmwas

 _Rodimus:_ **@Megatron** you planned this didn't u

 _Rodimus:_ how do u even know what Christmas is?

 _Megatron:_ The quarantine has given me the free time to read, and that inspired us to do this.

 _Rodimus:_ what kind of book could this have been from??

 _Drift:_ A Christmas Carol?

 _Ravage:_ tfhat waasx ijt!

 _Rodimus:_ what so I'm gonna b visited by two more ghosts or something?

 _UltraMagnus:_ You've read it?

 _Rodimus:_ nah watched the movie

 _Ravage:_ wae jnuhstf waanntfed tko shhows ygouh tfhatf ygouh wsedred besihng a bbitf tfyranjjnifcwal witfh tfhes eserdvesrd

 _Rodimus:_ how's that?

 _Ravage:_ rdidf ygouh nokt jotfijces wse tfurdned ygouhrd rulleds warounrd?

 _Rodimus:_ oh yeah u did didn't u

 _Rewind:_ guys what does it matter, it's Christmas

 _Chromedome:_ merry Christmas!

 _Nautica:_ hey did you all know Christmas is celebrated because of the birth of Earth's God?

 _Nightbeat:_ huh cool

 _Swerve:_ no one cares why it's celebrated just that it is!

 _Tailgate:_ MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY! 

_Tailgate:_ especially you **@Cyclonus** and **@Whirl**

 _Whirl:_ merry Christmas lil buddy

 _Rewind:_ but wait we're supposed to give each other presents what are we gonna do for that?

 _Brainstorm:_ I can build everyone something

 _Perceptor:_ no, Brainstorm

 _Brainstorm:_ aw

 _Thunderclash:_ isn't the fact that we're all still here and not fighting anymore enough?

 _Rodimus:_ he means material gifts hon

 _Thunderclash:_ is a hug enough?

 _Rodimus:_...

 _Rodimus:_ maybe

 _Ratchet:_ bah humbug

 _Drift:_ RATTY!!

 _Rodimus:_ SCROOGE!

 _Chromedome:_ a hug's good enough for me

 _Whirl:_ group hug!

 _FirstAid:_ there's still a quarantine, Whirl

 _Whirl:_ just this habsuite than

 _UltraMagnus:_ You mean "then"

 _Whirl:_ idc

 _Tailgate:_ grouphug.png

 _Drift:_ **@Ratchet** what do you mean bah humbug?!

 _Ratchet:_ Christmas is just an excuse to make other people buy stuff for you

 _Drift:_ there's more to it than that, Ratty

 _Rewind:_ like singing!!!

_Rewind:_ [Merry Christmas; the war is over!.vid](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=fz-d54I8xNo)

_UltraMagnus:_ And decorating.

_Megatron:_ decorations.png

_Rewind:_ hey even they're in the spirit! 

_Misfire:_ hey let's all sing something!

 _Swerve:_ YEAH!!

 _Rewind:_ Christmas ftw

_Rewind:_ JingleBellRock.txt


End file.
